时间：2018-07-12 22:35:14 来源：小鱼儿文章网 本文已影响 人
The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集会，圣会) always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start(吓一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."